Friday June 18, 2004
How To... Take Drinks Orders filed in Guests
In my experience, particularly when busy, the best way is to stand behind the bar and yell
"What the f*ck do you want to drink, you ravening hordes of b@st@rds?"
Of course, that wouldn't suit you genteel Uborka sorts. So - in the name of all that's good and cucumbroid -
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the drinking theme today is .... Sweary. So order now, f*ckbags. They'll be served at four, half-four ish."
Thank you.
Lyle
<soccer hooligan>A f***ing beer!</soccer hooligan>
Please and thank you.
Graybo - Friday June 18, 2004 08:28A f***ing huge gin, with not too much f***ing tonic, lots of f***ing ice, and no f***ing straw, PLEASE! F***. Apple. Banana. I'm no good at this swearing business, really I'm piffling not.
Vaughan - Friday June 18, 2004 09:02Damn. I'll be on a train to Szombathely when drinks are served. But that's the beauty of getting your orders in early.
Mine's a fu*king pint!
Doctor Pockless - Friday June 18, 2004 09:11Swearing in Spanish is always more picturesque.
“Hijo de mil naranjas, tu madre tiene un bigote.”
annie - Friday June 18, 2004 09:13(Son of a thousand oranges, your mother has a moustache.)
y un margarita aquí, por favor.
A pint of Old Rosie please.
*swears quietly and tries to blend in*
Clair - Friday June 18, 2004 09:25What the fruit is with all the asterisks? (asterii?)
Please may I fruitin' have a fruitin' pint of fruitin' Guinness, extra motherfruitin' cold one if you don't fruitin' mind, as I prefer it to the fruitin' normal draught one. Ohh and gimme fruitin' bag of peanuts please.
Gordon - Friday June 18, 2004 10:23Fruit I'm a right cherry apple when it comes to swearing. Just doesn't come naturally to a kiwifruit banana like me.
Gordon - Friday June 18, 2004 10:25Fruit this is fun, license to swear!!
Motherfruitin applebag banana-y pineapple!!
Gordon - Friday June 18, 2004 10:25Bananas, what do I want? It'll bloody well have to be one of those fruiting CRAPrinhas then.
Ade - Friday June 18, 2004 10:38...and I thought I'd made a mess over on The Clock yesterday.
Doctor Pockless - Friday June 18, 2004 10:42Goodness me!
Mr.D. - Friday June 18, 2004 12:24Oh my hat!
Give this man a vodka, Prat!
I would like a bloody bloody mary, please.
Karen - Friday June 18, 2004 12:27Fruit.
Stuart - Friday June 18, 2004 12:32*clears throat*
Sorry.
I would like a Fruitdriver - it's like a Screwdriver, only an 18 certificate rather than a 15.
Stuart - Friday June 18, 2004 13:57I'll have a fruiting gin and fruiting lemonade, please!Er, I mean: Give it to me now, melonballsack!
d
Destructor - Friday June 18, 2004 14:07Gordo, you are fackin' loving it, you dirty facker! Three fackin' posts in a row! Fackin' superb!
I'll have a Vodka n' tonic, cheers.
tucola - Friday June 18, 2004 14:23Fruit you, you slippery tangerine stumblefruit! Mine's a Violent Fruit. So don't be a flaming applesultanaface and fruit me up! Adios motherfruiter!
Dragon - Friday June 18, 2004 14:40Wash your mouths out with fruit, you filthy motherfruiters.
The Fruitcensor - Friday June 18, 2004 15:55Go and roger thyself with a cucumber, evil free-speech-hating scum!
Stuart - Tuesday June 22, 2004 15:09Alma meg a banán anyát! Mi a cseresznye folyik itt? A kiwi életbe! Menj az ananászba! Jaj...és egy jó hideg Stellá-t kérek.
Azt mondtam, hogy Stellá-t kérek, te hülye körte, nem egy fél pohar habot. Dinnye!
Simon - Wednesday June 23, 2004 22:29Yep. What he said.
Pete - Sunday June 27, 2004 16:28