Je ne sais pas pourquoi

This is a companion piece to a similarly-themed article on Pete’s site which, all things being equal, should be published at roughly the same time.

Dodgy indeed; I have chosen, this week, to assess the songs in terms of the grammar, pronounciation, and justification for the existence of the french lyrics. Who shall win? Oh the suspense.

Denis – Blondie
Blondie went through a phase of inexplicably pretending to be a bit french. This song is irritating as hell, but I really like Sunday Girl, and am surprised that wasn’t on the list.
Grammar: 4
Pron: 2
Justification: 4 (If we assume that Denis is french, then there is reason to sing to him in his own language. Whatever.

Le Freak – Chic
Terribly dull song.
Grammar: 3 (All they say is “c’est chic le freak.” It’s not hard)
Pron: 3
Justification: 1

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick – Ian Dury & The Blockheads
I once met Ian Dury at Heathrow Airport. I was ten. He gave me his autograph but I lost it.
Grammar: 3
Pron: 1
Justification: 1

I’m Not Scared – Eighth Wonder
Another song that does not rock my world.
Grammar: 5
Pron: 5
Justification: 1

Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi – Kylie Minogue
Grammar: 5
Pron: 4
Justification: 2

Joe Le Taxi – Vanessa Paradis
I bought this single. But only because I had a record voucher about to expire, and there was nothing else in the charts that week.
Grammar: 5
Pron: 5
Justification: 4

Lady Marmalade – Labelle
I quite liked this for a while, but it no longer moves me.
Grammar: 4 (made up words in a french accent do not count)
Pron: 3
Justification: 4

Michelle – The Beatles
My first boyfriend loved this song. He sung the french lines thusly: Sonky monky sonky monky sonk without a shred of irony.
Grammar: 4
Pron: 2
Justification: 4

Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
My favourite song of the week.
Grammar: 4
Pron: 3
Justification: 0

Si Si Je Suis Un Rock Star – Bill Wyman
Grammar: 3
Pron: 1
Justification: 4

So the winner is, unsurprisingly, the french bird.