In a more serious attempt to cut down on some of my commitments and make my life easier, I made a list of everything I do and why I can’t or don’t want to do any less of it. The end result, I suppose, was the realisation that actually I am managing fine, and just need a bit more sleep, and no amount of re-arranging is going to help with that.
Parenting Obviously I can’t do any less of this. In fact, I really can’t do much less; I feel that Pete already shoulders more than his share of what is only sometimes a burden. I do a little bit more of the nights, but he doesn’t escape from the tedious early-hours thrashing about and taking an hour to go back to sleep that Bernard regularly treats us to. Daytime parenting isn’t really a problem, just so long as my sleep quota isn’t too low. There are times when I wish we had a parent or two living nearby to give us a little bit of space, like when we’re trying to fix a heavy bathroom cabinet to the wall with a toddler sweeping around our feet with the dustpan and brush; and I do generally wish they weren’t so far away that visiting them is such a major expedition, to be fitted around naps, meals, and general obscure requirements with military precision. But that’s another story.
Work I was reading recently about what a terrible mother I am, for going back to work when Bernard was just six months old, the poor wee lamb. I do feel bad about the changing childcare arrangements in the first few months, but financially speaking we don’t have the luxury of choice, and I do believe I would go insane if I didn’t have the mental space that my job provides. It’s not a particularly taxing job, which means I am able to fit a lot of the next two items into my working day.
Training as a Breastfeeding Counsellor I enjoy this so much, there is no way I would consider dropping it. Obviously being a parent outranks all other occupations, but my BFC work is so important, and the academic challenge is absolutely refreshingly wonderful exercise for my brain.
Housework and maintenance Let’s face it, I’m a slut. I don’t clean anything until it really looks like it needs cleaning. I never vacuum; that’s Pete’s job. I don’t iron anything; nothing in this house ever gets ironed. I do a lot of laundry and washing up, and most nights I enjoy cooking, otherwise we get a takeaway. So I can’t see any way of reducing the burden of this task, really; I already do as little as possible.
As for maintenance tasks, I tend to have a supervisory role; either I persuade Pete to do it (and credit to him, he has turned his hands to many things since becoming a homeowner), or I pay someone. So Pete awesomely fixed the cooker clock, but a nice gardener laid the new lawn. These things I can achieve from the comfort of my desk.
Allotment I don’t plan to drop this, when we’ve only just started, and it’s all coming along so beautifully. I plan to do as little as we can get away with in the first couple of years, which means certain important maintenance tasks such as covering up the areas that won’t be planted so that weeds won’t grow. Other than that, it is just going to tick over. Again, on a nice day, I can nip over during my lunch break and do a bit of whatever needs doing.
Being Pete’s girlfriend I do little enough of this as it is, so there is absolutely no scope to cut back here. We spend our evenings enjoying each other’s company, zonked in front of the TV (sort of). We have plans for a possible night away together in the summer, depending on a million other things. We would certainly spend the entire time sleeping.
Social Life Ha. You mean NCT Committee Meetings? Right.