This is a companion piece to a similarly-themed article on Pete’s site, which, all things being equal, should be published at roughly the same time.
For Christmas, I would quite like a stainless steel colander and a stainless steel measuring jug; a moleskine notebook; and lots of books off my wishlist. I would like Bernard to be given lots of things that are not made of plastic and don’t make loud noises. I would like everyone to like the things I have given them, and I would like to have a nap after dinner.
When this post publishes on Christmas Eve, I may or may not be in hospital. No, don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with me apart from my ability to offer to do things I don’t really want to do. You see, Alice is expecting her second baby (remember, her first is three days younger than Bernard), and although she expects to have dropped it by now, she is booked for a c/section on December 24th. I foolishly said that, when she goes into labour, I will go with her; failing that, Pete and I will look after Stan. Then I realised that we were supposed to be going to Armpit for Christmas, and everything will remain up in the air and stressful until her waters break.
So what I really want for Christmas, is for Buttercup (as we have named the bump) to make an appearance on or only slightly after her due date, so that I can get away in time to be with my own family. As I mentioned, by the time this post is published (because I am getting a few things ticked off my list ahead of time), we will know.
Next week’s Stuntpost will be on the subject of our New Year Resolutions – look out for it on Monday.