[Things I would have included if my head was remotely organised.]
- It’s not the sleep deprivation, or the constant feeding, that get to me. It’s the chaos.
- How did I get away with being so lazy and selfish for so many years? Now I have no choice but to be on call 24/7, I can’t imagine a return to the old order.
- Chaos. Utter chaos. I don’t want to ginaford the poor baby, but I need some kind of routine, just for my own sanity. I keep telling myself that we will settle down in a few weeks, and I can’t expect any kind of order yet, but it’s hard to wait.
- Having said that, the last month has passed in the blink of an eye. The days don’t just all run into one, but they feel like they are completely compressed into one. I have no idea what we did yesterday.
- Is it okay for him to suck his toys, to soothe himself to sleep?
- Every morning at around 7, Pete takes Bernard away for half an hour or 45 minutes, and I sleep. It is the best sleep I get, because it is the only time he is not in the room where I have to listen to him breathe, and I know he is safe with his dad. If anyone else takes him away, I don’t sleep.
- This morning Bernard fell asleep on Pete’s chest, making Pete over an hour late for work. It’s not that he couldn’t possibly be moved, but that both parties were so very comfortable, they just didn’t want to. They were very cute.
- Chaos makes me feel stressed. I knew that caring for a newborn would be hard work, but I never quite grasped the details of what that meant.
- I have a perfect, beautiful little baby, who has bright eyes and a bushy tail. He looks at me all trustful and sweet. Then his face gets red and he bawls at me, but it doesn’t matter.
From the lack of experience I have in this area all I can say is that it sounds like fairly typical “new Mum and Dad” stuff. Ups and downs with the Ups outweighing the downs.
Bushy tail? He’s got a bush tail? I don’t want to alarm you, but that sounds wrong to me
i’m with you on the ginaford – but can i suggest to you ‘the baby whisperer’? much more relaxed and you can pick and choose the bits you want to try … we havent had a 100% record of sticking to the routine – sometimes he wants to feed every 2 hours, rather than 3, but you sort of swing with it and start again the next day. its really helped me out with toby – at least knowing what last happened helps me narrow down the reasons for crying, if i changed his nappy 20 minutes ago then thats the last thing on the ‘list’ i try to make him happy again for instance.
we have given up on having toby in with us, he is in the room next door as his reflux makes him so so noisy i’d never ever manage to sleep between feeds!
Toby has suddenly become much more alert in the last few days, really started to drink in his surroundings – which makes everything a bit more worthwhile. Roll on the smiling …
If Bernard sleeps OK on Pete’s chest, you might need to try doing something like this:
get an old-fashioned (i.e. ticking, rather than digital ) alarm clock – ideally something with a loud tick. Then swaddle it in cloth, or put it under the mattress of Bernard’s cot. It can provide a similar kind of beat to a heartbeat, which can be a relaxing thing for sproglets.
For some reason I find babies always go to sleep on me – it’s either the heartbeat, or I’m just a boring b*****d.
he is a beautful babe. i especially love that photo pete has on flickr of him with his tongue out. i hope you structure the chaos to your satisfaction soon. x
This all sounds really familiar. If it’s any consolation, Tom’s routine has fairly much gone out the window since it got so utterly stupidly hot, so you might find it easier to get some sort of normality once the weather cools down.
In addition, I’d say that it takes six weeks, not four, to get through the worst of it. I’m not trying to discourage you – there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s a little bit further away yet. That was our experience, anyway.
Very reassuring for me to read your chaos…ditto…. in haste stressed new mum veronica
Yeah, I’m with graybo, 6 weeks for sure. At the end of 6 weeks they are no longer classified as ‘newborn’, and there’s a reason for that: things settle.
This is actually quite educational for me, and really quite touching as well. Is this where I say “coochy coochy coo”? Perhaps it is…
Top tip from a colleague who is a mother on keeping baby hydrated in this heat without having him constantly stuck to your chest and/or overeating.
Give him an ounce or so of water before feeding. He’ll probably make faces and not like it, but it’ll help keep him hydrated.
Some friends of ours have a 3 month old and only now do they feel that they are over the “worst” and starting to enjoy parenthood.
Hmmm, that probably didn’t help…
Trust your instincts, I’m sure you are doing fine. You are obviously taking the responsibility seriously and have thoroughly researched what is best for your baby. Somewhere you will find the energy and hopefully you will start reaping the rewards soon.
Take care
The constant feeding thing does get better honest. In a few weeks when it’s not so hot and he becomes super efficient at itm a feed will seems to be done in what feels like a fraction of the time – with only the bunch of days here and there where feeding constantly is back on the menu because of a growth spurt. Sucking his toys for comfort…. be very grateful he has found a way of soothing himself that doesn’t involve sucking on you. I’d love to say the worrying stop but I wouldn’t be meaning it – welcome to the neurotic mums club, one of the least exclusive clubs in the world (though I prefer to call it caring than neurotic)
Apparently, today’s Woman’s Hour podcast is about breastfeeding and dehydration. I’ve not listened, so it wouldn’t know, but Jenni Murray trailed it as such during the last minute of WH as I tuned in for the 11am news.