Early Learning

I think there should be some sort of class offered at around 12 weeks, along the same lines as the excellent NCT course we just attended, to explain to couples what to expect throughout their pregnancy, and what sort of decisions they are going to be expected to make. Perhaps we could call it What the midwives don’t tell you.

This is the stage at which the self-informing parents-to-be are researching like mad, often after they have been given a choice about something they don’t immediately understand. The less self-informing, who are doomed to doing as they are told throughout and not taking control over their experience, would obviously benefit as well. I really think that information is withheld from us not just because the people in charge of our “care” have such poor communication skills, but also because it makes it easier for them if they give us a minimal range of options. And of course if they dissuade us from giving birth in a unit outside their own health authority, then they get the revenue; but surely that issue wouldn’t prejudice the way they treat us?!

Here are some possible syllabus topics:

• Physical symptoms you are probably going to experience during a normal pregnancy, and how to cope with or reduce them.
• Symptoms that might be danger signs, and when to get medical advice. Relatedly, symptoms that are scary but are not actually danger signs.
• What tests and scans you are going to be offered, and which ones you can get privately; the consequences of a negative result, and how to get help with making difficult decisions.
• Options for place of birth, and why they make a difference. To include the advice that the safest place, if you are in a low-risk category, is at home. Also a little bit of information at this stage on intervention, pain relief, etc, which doesn’t really need to be covered too deeply until the later classes.
• Some guidance on things you will need to beg/borrow/steal or as a last resort, buy, for yourself and the baby. Around this time, women will just be starting to need maternity clothes, and a few weeks later will probably start to worry about how many nappies (and what sort), how many vests and babygros and sleeping bags, what sort of pram they need, how often they will need to go and buy bigger bras; perhaps a little bit about feeding.

But the real advantage would be the early-stage networking. These days women are so much less likely to have the close family support system, and even if they do, it may be a good 30 years since our mums went through this, and there have been a lot of changes in that time. How about a brainstorming session on how to reject your mum’s advice without hurting her feelings? It would be nice to gather that peer group four or five months earlier, so that you can compare notes and go shopping and moan about people rubbing your belly without asking.

I know all of this sort of thing is covered in the books, and at least the pregnancy books are a little more consistent in their advice than the first year books; but they’re not completely comprehensive, and there is so much to worry about during pregnancy that having one authoritative class somewhere near the beginning might help demystify everything a bit.