For the first time, last night, he had hiccups. I’m glad I have already read that hiccups are not particularly distressing while you’re still in the womb, because although they feel like tiny little bumps, they went on for quite a long time.
This bump is getting enormous. Pete refers to the baby as The Hippo, because I am so fat. I met another pregnant woman at the swimming pool, and judged her bump to be the same as mine. Then she told me she only had two weeks to go. I invested in some support bras, and found that my band size has gone up FOUR INCHES from my pre-pregnancy size; the nice lady in Mothercare informed me that it would certainly go up again, so there was no point in buying nursing bras yet.
The kicking is also getting more forceful, and I think I have to start counting them soon, but honestly, there are too many to count! Last weekend we were in the cinema, and I think perhaps in response to the loud volume, he jigged and boxed through the entire film. I felt bruised by the time we left.
Tomorrow we have our first ante-natal class. I’m really hoping they don’t show any videos of people giving birth. Ugh!
I hope not as well. Though I am confident that I will be able to accompany you through childbirth without fainting, I am less confident about surviving through a video of it. For some reason, videos bring out the worst in me.
Hiccups – they’re fine after the birth too. Tom gets them very frequently and they serve only to irritate his parents. Actually, he does get slightly annoyed by them, but they do no more harm than that.
Bra sizes – if Hels’s experience is anything to go by, you’ve got miles to go yet. You breasts will soon enter the room about three minutes before you make it through the door.
Kicking – don’t bother counting. If he’s kicking that much, then he’s fine. Only bother with counting if he doesn’t kick regularly – then you should be looking for ten kicks between 9am and 9pm. Tom regularly held his very own disco session whilst inside Hels, but also had days when he was clearly too knackered to be bothered, which is when we counted.
Ante-natal classes – I’ve forgotten, are you doing NCT or NHS? NCT will probably have a video followed by tree-hugging. NHS will actually have real fresh gore, as they have no budget for a video but have ample supplies of gore.
Nappy update – the samples of the Moltex Oko have arrived. We’ve tried a couple and they worked well (just as well as Evil Nappies) although only with wee. We need to get one on him when he’s going to have a Poo Explosion™ to really test them, but we only have two samples left and he hasn’t obliged yet. I’m also testing Nature Biodegradable Nappy Sacks and Wipes to see if the whole ensemble will degrade in our composter, as suggested. Problems identified so far: - people go "ewww! he’s wearing a brown nappy!", although I can deal with that; - the volume of baby waste produced may be more than our composter can handle, so they may end up in landfill anyway where, I’m told, the anaerobic conditions prevent degradation; - the price. These things vary between two and three times the price of Evil Nappies (depending where you shop and which brand of Evil you subscribe to) and, when you’re paying two mortgages on maternity pay, that’s a lot to ask.
Isabella had hiccups loads before she was born, and still gets them now. She will always get a bout of hiccups after sneezing for some reason.
As for the videos, don’t be scared of the NCT ones. They are so warm and fuzzy (and completely unrealistic) it’s not funny. My husband made sure he got a seat near the door so he could make a quick exit in case they were a bit too messy, but they were softer than an old weepie. The women never made any noise, the men massaged and cooed, the midwives were quiet and sweet, and the babies barely cried when they arrived. Based on my delivery, and judging by the other noises and sights on the maternity ward, the video’s are absolutely tame!
Graybo, thank you for the update on the nappies. After thinking about it, I realise that we can’t possibly compost them in our one dalek composter, and I enquired with the council but they only accept green waste for composting. So I am going with the Moltex, but not the compostable ones; just the ones that are made in a more environmentally friendly manner – no bleach, etc. And once the chaos dies down (optimist!), we switch to washables, to save money and landfill.
I quite like the idea of people commenting on the brown nappies; I’ll take the opportunity to get all evangelical!