Telling the Parents

1. Pete’s mum:

Pete said he would tell if it came up in conversation; I was sceptical that such a thing would just come up all by itself.

In a Greek restaurant that she frequents, the owner comes over for a chat, and drops the information that she had a new grandson yesterday. Pete’s mum complains that she hasn’t got any yet, and Pete, giving her a belligerent stare, says do you WANT one?

Then we tell her, and she is pleased. But she does mention that she thought we might conceive one in the mill, which is a little creepy given the total lack of soundproofing.

2. Pete’s sister and grandmother:

I am half way to the fridge for the bottle of champagne when Pete’s mum blurts it out.

3. Karen’s dad and brother:

I offer to drive to the pub where we are having lunch. They are both completely incapable of accepting that I don’t plan to drink any alcohol. They harangue me about it and I tell them to shut them up. Nick names it Bernard.

4. Pete’s dad:

Spending christmas in Tunisia, so we tell him by a text message which reads merry christmas… grandad. Surprisingly, he gets it immediately, and calls to congratulate. Please note that text is his preferred mode of communication, and he would find nothing out of the ordinary about this.

5. Karen’s mum and stepdad:

Finally, we get to announce it properly. Pete pops the champagne cork just as I tell mum she is going to be a granny. She leaps about, hugging people, and then dashes into her bedroom, whence she produces a garish knitted penguin, which she claims to have commissioned from a friend 15 years ago, for her first grandchild.