Some phone calls are more fun than others. I get particularly irritated by people who call me from their mobile phone, and then commentate on the traffic around them. That just isn’t interesting. And I hope you’re hands-free.
Then there are the random salespeople who ring me up and start their conversation with a breezy enquiry about my health. I say to you: fuck off and mind your own business.
And then there is the hour-long conversation with your boyfriend, in which you ramble on about nothing, or just listen to each other breathing, in order to feel a little bit closer to them. You talk about your day or make plans for the weekend. Or he opens a drawer, takes out his Gameboy, and starts to play Tetris.
But at least you know you’ve still got it when you tell him to choose between you and the world’s most addictive computer game, and hear him switch it off before you have finished your sentence.